For all those people who thought pandemic etiquette would disappear the second the “new normal” became just normal again, I have some news to share.
While most of us are no longer wiping down every grocery item like it just came from a science lab, COVID-19, flu, RSV and other respiratory viruses are still very much a part of life. The bigger shift now is that etiquette is less about strict rules and more about reading the room, respecting personal comfort levels and not making things awkward for everyone involved.
In other words, yes, you can go to the dinner party. But please do not show up coughing into the cheese board and call it “just allergies.”
Here are five updated etiquette rules that still make sense today.
New Mask Wearing Guidelines
Mask wearing is no longer treated the same way it was during the height of the pandemic, but that doesn’t mean masks are gone for good. They are now more of a common-sense tool, especially during cold and flu season, in crowded indoor spaces or when you know you have been exposed to something contagious.
The CDC continues to share guidance for reducing the spread of respiratory illness, particularly for people who are older, immunocompromised, pregnant or living with chronic health conditions. As noted in the CDC’s current mask and respirator guidance, wearing a well-fitting mask can still help lower the spread of respiratory viruses.
Short answer: masks are now situational.
You may still want to wear one in places such as:
- Healthcare facilities, especially hospitals, urgent care centers and doctor’s offices.
- Public transportation, including buses, trains, taxis, ride-sharing vehicles and airplanes.
- Airports, train stations and other crowded transportation hubs.
- Indoor events during high respiratory virus season.
- Any setting where you are around someone who is medically vulnerable.
Many healthcare offices and long-term care facilities still have their own masking policies, and those should be followed without debate. No one needs a lecture in the waiting room about personal freedom while someone else is trying not to get pneumonia.
Even when masks are optional, it is perfectly acceptable to wear one if it makes you feel more comfortable. It is also perfectly acceptable not to ask someone why they are wearing one, because honestly, it may be none of our business.
When choosing a mask, fit and comfort matter more than whether it looks cute in your coat pocket. A Choosing an antimicrobial face mask may be useful for some people, although antimicrobial fabric should not be confused with the protection of a well-fitting respirator.
Contactless Greetings
Handshakes, hugs and cheek kisses have made a comeback, but not everyone is equally excited about that. And after the last few years, it should not feel rude to pause before grabbing someone’s hand like you are closing a business deal in 1998.
Respiratory viruses often spread through droplets and aerosols, and research has shown that virus typically spreads through infected respiratory droplets or aerosol particles that can reach the mouth, nose or eyes. Touch is not the only issue, but avoiding unnecessary close contact can still be helpful when someone is sick or when illness is circulating.
This is where the new greeting etiquette comes in. You can absolutely say, “I’m so happy to see you, but I’m skipping hugs today,” and that should be enough.
Myka Meier, author of Business Etiquette Made Easy, has suggested contactless greetings such as the “grasp and greet,” where you place both hands over your heart, or the “stop, drop and nod,” which is basically a polite nod with your hands behind your back. Are they a little formal? Maybe.
But they are also clear, respectful and far less awkward than leaning in for a hug while the other person backs away like you just offered them spoiled milk.
Other easy options include a wave, a smile, a verbal “great to see you” or simply letting the other person take the lead. Reading body language is still free, and I highly recommend it.
Accepting and Declining Invitations
After years of canceled weddings, postponed birthday parties and holiday dinners over video calls, many people are thrilled to gather again. I get it.
But there is still a difference between wanting connection and feeling obligated to attend every crowded indoor event you are invited to. You are still allowed to make choices based on your health, your household and your comfort level.
For large events, especially weddings, showers or milestone parties, the polite thing to do is respond as soon as you know your answer. Leaving the host guessing is not a health boundary; it is just annoying.
A simple response works best. For example: “Thank you so much for inviting me, but I’m going to sit this one out. I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating.”
No long explanation required. No dramatic medical history needed.
Sending a gift, card or thoughtful message is still a kind way to show you care when you cannot attend. This is especially true when the event is important and your relationship with the host matters.
On the flip side, hosts should also be clear about expectations. If the gathering is indoors, crowded, mask-friendly, outdoors or includes vulnerable family members, just say that up front.
As the Emily Post Institute notes about being a good guest, consideration for others is really the center of good manners. Turns out that still applies whether we are talking about RSV, seating charts or showing up empty-handed.
House Rules for Invited Guests
House rules used to mean “please take off your shoes” or “do not feed the dog from the table.” Now they may also include washing hands, staying home when sick or opening a window when people gather indoors.
None of this has to be dramatic. A host can simply say, “Just a heads up, we’re asking everyone to stay home if they have symptoms, and we’ll have hand sanitizer by the door.”
That is not rude. That is being clear.
It is also reasonable to ask guests to remove shoes, wash their hands before eating or avoid coming over if they have a fever, vomiting, diarrhea or a new cough. Again, not exactly shocking stuff.
Good ventilation is another smart update that does not get enough attention. The EPA notes that improving ventilation, such as opening windows or using well-maintained HVAC systems and air cleaners, can help reduce indoor airborne particles.
As a guest, the best etiquette is to respect the rules of the home you are entering. If taking off your shoes or washing your hands feels like a major personal sacrifice, I might gently suggest staying home.
Hosts should also avoid turning health precautions into a pop quiz. Nobody wants to be greeted at the door with a clipboard and a flashlight.
Etiquette for Virtual Communications
Remote work is no longer some temporary emergency setup involving a laptop on the kitchen counter and a child yelling about snacks in the background. For many people, it is simply work now.
The problem is that virtual meeting etiquette has not always caught up. We have all been in the meeting where three people talk at the same time, one person forgets to mute while making coffee and someone else is clearly answering emails with the intensity of a courtroom stenographer.
Basic rule: mute yourself when you are not speaking. This one small act may save everyone’s sanity.
Cameras are a little more nuanced. In smaller meetings or conversations where body language matters, keeping your camera on can help people feel more connected.
But there are also valid reasons to keep a camera off, including fatigue, privacy, bandwidth issues or simply needing a break from staring at your own face. The polite compromise is to follow the meeting norms, turn the camera on when needed and avoid judging others too quickly.
It also helps to avoid eating loudly, multitasking obviously or taking calls from bed unless there is a very good reason. And no, “my blanket is cozy” does not always count as a good reason.
Meeting hosts can make virtual communication better by setting expectations early. A quick “please mute when not speaking” or “cameras optional today” saves everyone from guessing.
Bottom line: the new etiquette rules are less about fear and more about consideration. Stay home when sick, respect someone else’s comfort level, be clear with invitations and do not make public health choices weirdly personal.
We may not be living in the same “new normal” we talked about in 2020, thankfully. But a little flexibility, kindness and common sense still go a long way.
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